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 White Plains, NY - The issues of aging often leave family caregivers speechless. Learn how to approach your aging parents about finances, taking away the keys, independence, romance and other issues with a free guide from the Home Instead Senior Care office in White Plains, serving seniors in Northern and Southern Westchester and Putnam counties.
“The 40-70 Rule: a Guide to Conversation Starters” is part of a national public education campaign as the result of original research from Home Instead Senior Care, an international company providing in-home, non-medical care to seniors. The study revealed that communication hurdles can be overcome by following the 40-70 Rule: when the child reaches 40 or the senior reaches 70, it’s time to begin those difficult conversations.
For a free guide, call Brian Trainor at (914) 997-0400. For additional information about the “The 40-70 Rule” and study results log on to www.4070talk.com.
Seven Tips to Start the Conversation
1. Get started. If you're at least 40 or your parents are at least 70, it's time to start observing and gathering information. Don't reach a conclusion from a single observation or decide on the best solution until you have gathered information with an open mind and talked with your parents.
2. Talk it out. Discuss what you've observed and ask your parents what they think is going on. If your parents acknowledge the situation, ask what they think would be good solutions. If your parents don't recognize a problem, use concrete examples to support your case.
3. Sooner is best. Talk sooner rather than later after a crisis has occurred. If you know your parent has poor eyesight or has trouble driving at night, begin to address those issues before a problem arises.
4. Forget the baby talk. Remember you are talking to an adult, not a child. Patronizing speech or baby talk will put older adults on the defensive and convey a lack of respect for them. Put yourself in your parents' shoes and think of how you would want to be addressed in the same situation.
5. Maximize independence. Try to move toward solutions that provide the maximum amount of independence for the older person. Look for answers that optimize strengths and compensate for problems. For instance, if your loved ones need assistance at home, look to resources that can help them maintain their strengths such as trusted friends, neighbors or in-home caregivers.
6. Be aware of the whole situation. If a parent dies and soon afterward the house seems to be in disarray, it's probably not because the surviving spouse suddenly became ill. It's much more likely to stem from a lack of social support and the loss of a life-long relationship. Make sure your parent has friends and a social life.
7. Ask for help. Many of the issues of aging can be solved by providing parents with the support they need to continue to maintain their independence. Resources such as area agencies on aging, local senior centers and in-home care providers can help provide those solutions.
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